Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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