is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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