I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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