Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
is that a dick in a sweater?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
