It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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