were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me