Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.