I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day