I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
