Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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