i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
