he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
