Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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