Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
