Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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