I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
