Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
