just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
