she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
