So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
