Soap is not a condiment
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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