Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
