Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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