Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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