HIV tests are more positive than that guy
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
