I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
