Do vagina's smell?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize