dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize