quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
