i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
