No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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