I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Randomize
