what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
