If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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