moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
the raccoons are back...
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