Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
So much rum. So many feels.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
