Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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