how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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