anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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