bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
