I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
