fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
