Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
