Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I think pants incapable of making pants work
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
