worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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