Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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