He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
