so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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