CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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