just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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