I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Congratulations! We have a period
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