She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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