So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
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His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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