I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
