So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
drinking out of a sandbucket again
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
