there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
