Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
