i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
