I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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