Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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