Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Randomize
