nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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